musicrazes

I really love planning outings events etc, cos its nice to be able to keep in contact with everyone and its also nice to bring everyone together. but then if all your plannings go unappreciated and people starts to take it for granted tat you will always take the initiative to plan its really demoralising! like why the hell did i plan all this for? why the hell do i bother to text? when i dun even get at least a thank you!There are days where i really dun feel like texting, but asking them for help = useless. all they do is insist you do it!  damn! but then again i dun wish to not plan cos i'm afraid of losing these friendships! i mean i'm glad all of us are getting more and more closer and we are enjoying each others company! i dun wish to put an end to it! i hope i'm not the only putting in effort i know i'm not! sigh!!!!

'i just want you to know tat i've been fighting to let you go, somedays i'll make it through' this part of the just want you to know lyrics keeps playing in my head!! hahaha i love the song!!!! I'm falling in definitely falling in! i have to stop!!!!!

You know church is not a place where you should feel compelled to go
Its a place where you should you have to enter with all your heart and it must be willingly
I dun like to feel tat its a must for me to go! its not tat i dun wanna go
but i hate the hypocritical feeling tat they give! like they are nice to you cos they want you to be saved!
tats not the way! its like they are all two faced! initially they welcome you with open arms after long they get sick of you and move on to other non-believers.
Its not about you being in the church for long or you having just entered the church
its about feeling welcome all the time even if you are a 100 year old Christian! sometimes i just dread going to church going to cell grp meetings! i seriously cant bring myself to fake a smile in front of them!
i love God but i guess i dun love them as much! except for a few nice and genuine ones!

My past 2 weeks were spent on rushing on projs and reports!  A tedious 2 weeks of researching and editing! But oh well it's all coming to an end! Thank God! One presentation down 2 more to go!! this is good news of coming to an end! BUT,on the other hand, come to end also means end of NDP! i really do nt want NDP to end! i really enjoy the ushering and love my peeps there! its nice to have known them and we spent like almost 10 saturdays together! Now we are only left with 2 shows to go and its really sad! Who knows if we will all keep in contact! i highly doubt that in the future when we have meet ups most people will not turn up and as we are all busy with our own stuff we will tend to forget about each other! i know i'll acting all emo but it's true! i really dun wan our wonderful friendship to end on 9th aug! its through divine intervention that we all have gotten to know each! its kinda fated! 

A big shout out to all R3 peeps it was really nice to have known you guys and may we all cherish this last 2 sats tog and enjoy with each other:) It's tough but i'm willing to make the effort to have meetings and outings in the future! not near future but future! hehe I really love you guys and the memories of our NDP-ing tog will be deep down in my memory lane! Thanks for being part of my NDP journey:)
 

Shopping is just something a girl can do liven up their mood, when i shop i just forget all the unhappy stuff and it makes me really happy! but this is only temporary! i cant always shop to make myself happy i dun have tha ability to do so! lol
anws this feeling totally sucks! argh! i think too much seriously! i guess i should just make a covenant with God that i'll stay single till i'm 21! after all, its only God who will really stay faithful to you and He can never make you sad! He will stay by your side no matter wad! besides making the covenant would allow me to stop thinking about relationship and not get hurt by it!
 

Finally i've got the time and mood to sit down and update my blog before it decomposes and die! hahahh. anws a lot have happened and i really wish to vent it all out in one go!! Before i start! I'm SOOOOOO GLAD THAT LINETTE CAME BACK for a month! its more than enough!
 
Firstly, this sem is really busy like yo hardly even have time to break a leg kinda busy! week after week i have endless lab reports to complete. My mondays are tuesdays are supposedly my free time of the week but is all held up with lab reports and projects. On top of all the lab reports and projects! weekly tutorials also kept me busy most of the time! but i thank God for sending nice friends into my life to help me pull through this tough period! CTS are on the way and i have yet to complete my revision! genius! i really need God to help me stretch! i have to pass this whole dip thingy and get into a uni!!!

Secondly, for some reason i dunno why things between me and you had turned sour. I mean its kinda upsetting to see you givning those facial expression and those tone that you use each time you speak to me is ssooooo different. is it me or am i too sensitive? I really miss the past when i first knew you and you treated me like a friend, really good friend. You use to be someone who i can depend on, someone who i can turn to and someone who i thought i could talk everything under the sun with. What is wrong? I just don't feel the connection tat we use to have and surprisingly i feel kinda uncomfortable ard you and cant stop thinking of how you were react to my actions and all! this shouldn't be the case. i mean i love you as a friend but i'm not sure now! i'll just pray that things will get better and that we can end all this 'misery'.

Thirdly, Driving was awesome! had my first lesson last sat and its was reallt thrilling! haha my instructor said that i was too nervous and that i have to learn how to look far ahead! haha and my first time braking was hilarious! my instructior asked me to break slowly but cos it came to suddenly, so i pressed hard on the brake pedal and the whole car jerked! oops! haha cant wait for the second lesson! haha

anws, busy week but still my girlfriends and family made my day! Thanks lord for bringing them into my life:) I LOVE YOU GUYS to the max!!! 


 

 

Environmental tech is one of the best module i have this sem, its all abt the environment! As much as i hate to admit this, i think the earth it meeting its deadline and we've gotta to do our part to save it! seriously, signs of the humid weather for the past 2 weeks are really good evidence to prove that the earth is getting hotter, people aren't aware of it or they simpy just don't give a damn about it! but hey, this is the place where our 'homes' are yet we are destroying it! The concentration of CO2 in the air now is 388.sth ppm, once it exceeds 450 ppm the earth is in danger!! We must really get down to earth and do sth about it! alright, environmental stuff aside, i wanna share abit about my GOD, you may tink i'm a holy-crow but i really cant be bothered!

Sometimes when you choose to believe in something, you cannot doubt it nor believe it half heartedly, God is a God who gives second chances! He answers to our prayer are YES, MAYBE or LATER! if he doesn't answer your prayer directly, i think he is saving the best for later and also at the same time give you more time to seek him sincerely! I'm sure God's is more than happy to have you join him in his kingdom but sometimes he just waits for the correct time to reveal the truth to you:) He is definitely a God who  is faithful and a God of second chances:)